10 people i don't want to sit next to on the train

i take the train to work every day, and while there are so many perks (like not getting stuck in traffic! and getting to grade papers on my commute!), there are also downsides to getting a ride with hundreds of strangers. also, sorry in advance for all the sass ;)

10 people i'd raaaather not get stuck next to in an enclosed box on wheels: 

1// the guy who sneezes. on his hands. the hands that touch the seat and everything else as he gets up at his stop.

2// the person who remembered to bring headphones but then cranks the volume so loud that they might as well just put it on speaker for me and the rest of the train to hear.

3// the one who has a friend on the train that they are SO EXCITED to talk to about ALL THE EXCITING THINGS with. (if it's the morning train ride, i'm grumps. if it's the afternoon, i'm tired and just want to ride home in peace. nowhere in those two scenarios do i want to hear about how many friends you have on snapchat as compared to your SUPER POPULAR best friend.)

4// the shopping addict with 1,382 bags from stores whose names i can't even pronounce.

5// the smoker. (cigarette smoke makes me want to hold my nose, and yes i know that is very mature of me.)

6// the teacher/professor grading papers. because sometimes i am the one grading papers so i know what a hassle it is to have to make the grader move so you can slide out of the shared seat to get off the train.

7// the guy whose voice sounds like kermit the frog.

8// the tall person forced to sit bow-legged next to you so their knees don't hit the seat in front of them, which, in turn, makes their knees touch yours.

9// the nosy person who is always glancing down at your phone screen. (did you think i'd be looking at something hysterical? it's just student emails or my instagram feed, folks...nothing to see here.)

10// keith urban. but that's just because i don't like country and i'd have nothing to say to him when presented with the opportunity. :P

who'd you rather not sit next to on a train? 

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