I don't feel any of that pressure to have been wildly successful by 30, or know exactly what life should look like.
I'm thrilled to be 27, headed right towards my late twenties. Even if I'm not sure what I'm doing.
On paper, it may seem like having a house & two kids is "productive" and "established" (or maybe that life sounds terrible to you, and small kids would be your worst nightmare? Haha). But really, I'm not sure what comes next.
Will we have more kids? I REALLY pictured myself having 4 kids by 30, and when I had postpartum depression after having Emma, part of me mourned the fact that maybe I'm not cut out for mothering that many kids. (If I couldn't handle a baby and a toddler, how would I ever handle 3 kids?!) I'm starting to think that all my talk of having a big family might not be for me. And I'm not sure yet how many kids we'll have.
Will I go back to teaching? When will I get my dang Masters degree that I need to continue teaching? I'm certified to teach Spanish & English, but in Pennsylvania, I'll need a Masters if I want to have a permanent teaching certificate! Do I try and get my degree online before going back to teaching? Once all my kids are in school and I'm "ready" to go back to teaching, will I get hired if I don't have another degree?
How long will we live in this house? Will we stay in the area? This house was always supposed to be a house we'd "flip" (slowly, over the course of years!), but the areas we'd want to be in within our our Montgomery County suburb to Philly are getting more expensive.
Anyway, what's my point with all these rambling self-reflective questions? It's this: you may not know what God has next for you in terms of relationships, family, career, and where you live. But who says you need to know what your next 10 steps are?
Proverbs 19 tells us that "many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is God's purpose that prevails." Even if I try to map out what success looks like, ultimately, my future is in God's hands.
So what do I do?
I commit my way to the Lord (Psalm 37) and I do everything--the little stuff, the big planning stuff--for God's glory (Colossians 3:17).
Let's be thankful for where we are today, how far we've come. And let's trade in our fear of the future or not measuring up, in exchange for committing our futures to Him.
How do you feel about birthdays & getting older? What are you thankful about in your current stage of life?
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