What I Learned About Myself From Marrying An Introvert

*Edit: this post went live for a short time on Tuesday, Oct. 25 and then blogger freaked out and made it a draft again. Or I pressed a wrong button. Still not sure what happened, but here it is again!* 

Before we got married, I was all about filling up any spare moment I had outside of school/church/my super rad high school job of lifeguarding at a retirement community to spend with friends. I would happily drive to see two different friends in one day, and I attended nearly every event our church had to offer. My schedule was always full. Keep reading for what I learned about my over-scheduled life when I married an introvert!

Before we got married, I was all about filling up any spare moment I had outside of school/church/my super rad high school job of lifeguarding at a retirement community to spend with friends. I would happily drive to see three different friends in one day, and I attended nearly every event our church had to offer (Every single youth group meeting/event? Yep! Evangelism nights? I'm there!). My schedule was always full.

Then I got married to my absolutely incredible, loving, selfless, hardworking, super good-looking husband. And for some strange reason he wasn't a huge proponent of my spending every single weeknight/free time on weekends hanging out with a different friend. (Actually, when we first got married and I sorta did that, he instituted Friday Date Nights, so that one night would be designated to spend together. Haha)


In summary: we are pretty different personality types. Being involved (or "over-involved"...do you feel my quotation marks there???) in lots of activities and invested in lots of friendships isn't for everyone. However, in marrying someone so different from my personality type, I learned a lot about myself. Today I'm only going to share the top 2 categories of lessons my extrovert-self learned from my husband. And what I learned may seem super obvious but was totally in contrast to my usual way of thinking, so bear with my obvious-lessons-learned moment. 😉 


I can do a ton of things mediocrely, or I can do a few things well.  
Devin helped me realize I really can't do a good job at everything when I'm over-involved with every possible activity. He is so talented, so it would be easy for him to have 100 things to do each evening after work, from hobbies to volunteering to working on our house. However, he evaluates how much time he has each week and he spends it intentionally, without over-committing to every opportunity or over-working himself.

One time as a newlywed and a college student I had to say no to playing the piano for worship at a women's retreat (which normally is a good, godly thing!) because I was so busy figuring out married life and doing homework that to spend a whole weekend away would have been pulling me in too many directions at once.

Another example is that I was the faculty advisor of the yearbook when I was teaching high school Spanish. I couldn't have stayed after school to take/edit/format pictures of sports teams and events if I had had 3 more after-school commitments; plus, it would have made it REALLY difficult to be a good wife and friend if I were at school doing more after-school activities! For that school year, I chose to really invest in the yearbook group and my own personal relationships, instead of being pulled lots of different directions.


I do actually need time by myself to reflect. 
Though Devin's got really great friends and lots of family that we're close to (emotionally and by proximity!), he understands the value of taking time for himself. While this might be his go-to method of processing and I would more often choose talking things out with a friend, I realized that I still need to take time to be alone and think things through.

I think that's why I journaled from 3rd grade through sophomore year of college. I needed that time to process everything going on.

While I probably am an extrovert (which is why I loved doing so many different social activities in high school), I need time on my own to evaluate my priorities, rest, and think more deeply about things. When I'm in go-go-go mode, it doesn't really allow for time to process things.




Now, I've scaled way back. Every moment doesn't have to be spent on the go. And to prove it you can check out what I posted on Instagram about our weekend, haha! Are you an extrovert or introvert? Have you learned any lessons from someone who's the opposite of you?

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